Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
