What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
my shit smells like andre
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
