i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
