dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
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