ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
