It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Randomize
