That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Michael Bay diarrhea
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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