if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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