I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Come share oat with me in your robe
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
