OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
