if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
