I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
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