Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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