Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
