Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
