she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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