NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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