He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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