Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize