me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
