I heard we made out
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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