I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I just gargled with NyQuil
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
