i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
