The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
