Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
