I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
