I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
i think my mom watched the whole time
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
