sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
