I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
