You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
So much Jack, so little girl.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
