No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
