On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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