Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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