ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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