Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You pole danced in your parka.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
