I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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