So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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