Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
