guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
