But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
