If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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