So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
