census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Let's paint friendship bongs
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Randomize
