I heard we made out
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
That accounts for only three of the penises
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
