First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
accomplished twins. life is a go
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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