Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
