I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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