Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
