EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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