If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
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